Japan's 'second virgins' are camels in a dry spell
Japan is faced with a crisis as growing numbers of mostly 30-something guys go through what Spa! (3/21) calls a "second virginity," where they have not had sex for at least half a year.
But instead of champing at the bit, the magazine notes that most of these "second virgins" are perfectly content to remain inactive.
Take Koki Yamada. This just-turned 40-year-old leads a successful life as a writer on Japan's busy entertainment beat. Successful that is, except for one thing - he's a "second virgin" and has been for 2 1/2 years. Not that he's worried.
"It's just a pain building up friendships with people nowadays. I've got my own little world and I don't like anybody else invading it. I've always been a bit of an introvert," he tells Spa!, adding that his ideal partner would be a younger woman who doesn't give any grief and goes to her own home if she's got no business on in his. "(Relationships) gradually become more and more of a nuisance. I want to live life at the pace I want to live it. Going out with somebody means you've got certain responsibilities and duties to fulfill. Having somebody else around is just a frustration."
Masahiro Saito, a 31-year-old logistics employee, says he avoids women because he doesn't want to get hurt, admitting that his last girlfriend dumped him -- a decade ago -- because he was too clingy. He has remained a barren bonking, "second virgin" ever since.
"I don't really ever know what girls are thinking," he says. "I always want a girlfriend, but it's a bother collecting their phone numbers and mail addresses and taking them out on dates and stuff. I do go to matchmaking parties, but I've never once asked a girl I met there for her number."
Kosuke Aoyama is a "second virgin" with a difference -- he has a steady girlfriend he meets regularly, they just don't make out. He's simply become bored.
"I had this really strong sense of obligation that I had to make sure I satisfied my partner and that made me feel totally awful. Sex itself is just an annoyance," Aoyama tells Spa! "My current girlfriend isn't that keen on sex, anyway. (Mind you, the first year we were seeing each other, we were at it three times a week.) We're just good buddies without any sex and we spend every weekend together." (By Ryann Connell)
Valmont escribió:Para los que quieran saber algo más, en Japón se conoce como shibari (縛り), y podéis verlo, por ejemplo, en muchas de las fotografías de Araki, en las que muestra mujeres vestidas a la manera tradicional y atadas con cuerdas.
Aoki_kl escribió:Valmont una preguntilla : ¿se refieren a lo mismo Shibari que Kinbaku?
Algren-san escribió:Valmont te veo profesional en el tema xD.
Sobre el ligoteo, mi colega fue a una disco de roppongui ponia bien grande DISCO
al entrar le dejaron entrar gratis por ser gaijin y se salió en seguida porque dentro de la discoteca habia
una barra llena de gaijins y japonesas "atacandolos" de la manera mas directa.
Se podía observar a alguno haciendolo en la esquina.
Japan: Paying the price for a lack of moral fiber
By Michael Hoffman
May 19, 2006
Individuals have nervous breakdowns; countries have "moral breakdowns." Japan, Shukan Post fears, is having one now. It sees signs of it everywhere -- at home, at work, in public places, notably trains. Manners are appalling, indifference is total, and crime, expanding to fill the vacuum, ranges from outrageous (buildings built with falsified earthquake resistance data) to grotesque (a 9-year-old boy thrown off a 15th-floor balcony).
Why are Japan's morals collapsing?
"For the Japanese," says Seishin Women's College sociologist Kensuke Sugawara, "the center of moral authority was always the neighborhood. Neighbors got together for the ceremonial occasions of life, supported each other, helped each other out. And people were aware of their neighbors' eyes on them, and of the need to take the judgment of others into consideration.
"But neighborhood society broke down" -- a victim of urbanization and the blind rush to economic superpower status. New moral imperatives arose, mandating impersonal conformity and self-sacrifice to the corporate interest. When the corporate interest itself foundered with the bursting of the economic bubble, the new challenge became to live simultaneously as individuals and as responsible members of society. This challenge, in Shukan Post's view, is not being successfully met.
Is the radical change the magazine records in the sex lives of children a symptom or cause of the larger breakdown?
"The other day," says gynecologist Tsuneo Akaeda, who offers free weekly nighttime health consultations in Tokyo's Roppongi, "a third-year junior high school girl came to me; she wanted an abortion. 'It's my third one,' she said, bold as brass. Then there was another girl, a senior high school girl. She too wanted an abortion. 'I can't do it,' I told her, 'without your boyfriend's consent.' 'Oh!' she said. 'But... I have a lot of boyfriends. I don't know which is the father.' 'Well,' I said, 'you know roughly when you became pregnant. Doesn't that narrow it down?' 'Not really - around then I was making it with two guys at the same time...'"
It's no surprise any more that kids are shedding their virginity younger and younger, though the actual numbers are rather surprising: According to one survey Shukan Post cites, 35.7 percent of third-year senior high school boys, and 44.3 percent of girls, have already crossed that milestone.
Their parents, meanwhile - roughly half, say the experts - are increasingly sexless, either stewing in varying blends of exhaustion and frustration, or else - the numbers here too are rising - taking their frustration to the streets and discos in search of extra-marital partners.
A survey last month by the Gunma Prefecture Board of Education shows an interesting correlation between the sexual activity of young teenagers and, of all things, breakfast habits. Kids who eat breakfast regularly are less apt to be prematurely preoccupied with sex, the explanation being that regular breakfasts imply a harmonious family.
Family harmony has always been more or less elusive, unlike workplace harmony, which could generally be counted on, though no longer.
There is a generation gap. Older employees find their young colleagues cavalier, insubordinate and undisciplined. New recruits shrug this off rather lightly. They will work, but not submit to a corporate harness. For 80 percent of them, Shukan Post reports, personal life is more important than work; 60 percent say work is nothing but a means to a salary. They think nothing of refusing to work overtime, and as for after-hours corporate barroom bonding, they have better things to do with what they insist on considering their free time. There's not much their bosses can do, it seems, except fret about the passing of the good old days when "free time" was a universally recognized oxymoron.
The good old days were probably not so good, and maybe the present isn't really so bad. But Shukan Post's prognosis is bleak: People "lacking character," it says, are "leading the nation to ruin."
buchan escribió:de todas formas, luisete nos has colado un articulito del Opus ....
no, ya en serio, el librito de Hoffman Tokyo confidential se lee entretenido, pero denota un cierto caracter amarillista (y con cierto tono moralista) que no acaba de cuajar para mi gusto ...me gusta mucho mas Alex Kerr o[/i] Ian Buruma ...
muchas de estas cosillas que pasan en Japón están ahí, y denotan una serie de problemas de fondo...
Individuals have nervous breakdowns; countries have "moral breakdowns."
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